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Mirrors, Maps, & Mentors: How to Get the Most from Self-Help Books
I will never forget the feeling of being 12 years old in a corner of the middle school library, tearing through pages that met a need I didn’t even know I had. While I don’t remember how I ended up with the book, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul was the first real mirror I had for my internal world. The collection of real-life stories lived up to its title, giving me the warm, overflowing sense of recognition that I would become familiar with over years of reading personal growth and self-help books.
Given how strongly that first book resonated with me, it’s kind of surprising that I didn’t see then the therapist I would grow up to be. But at that point, my foray into the less-talked-about aspects of the human experience wasn’t about me supporting other people. It was about me getting the support that I so desperately needed. It was about…
Healing Complex Trauma with Internal Family Systems (IFS)
As a trauma specialist, people interested in therapy and coaching with me tend to have three primary modes:
I know I’ve got some stuff from the past to work through, and I’m ready to get into it!
I think I’ve got some stuff from the past to work through, and I’ll do it if I have to. (Are you sure there’s no other way…?)
I just want to feel better now - let's leave the past out of it.
The vast majority show up in one of the first two modes. They have some understanding of trauma, recognizing that some kind of past experience might be at the root of their current struggles. But even as they want to “face their past,” they…